|
T&L Wheelock Racing
USA
0 Posts |
 Posted - 05/05/2006 : 09:31:59 AM
|
Two Iraqi spies meet in a busy restaurant after they had successfully
slipped into the U.S.
The first spy starts speaking in Arabic. The second spy shushes him
quickly and whispers:
"Don't blow our cover. You're in America now. Speak Spanish."
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny
breasts. Dr. Smith advised her, "Every day after your shower rub your chest and say,
"Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."
She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew
terrific D-cup boobs!
One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."
A guy sitting nearby looked at her, "By any chance, are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?"
"Why, yes I am... How did you know?"
He leaned closer, winked and whispered,
"Hickory, Dickory, Dock...'
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern
Republican?
Here is a little test that! will help you
decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following
question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your
wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife
comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities,
praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer
the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would
inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and
knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built
into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what
kind of message does this
send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing
me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he
be content just to just wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could
my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed
day and make this happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
some friends for few days and try to come to a
consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Southern Republican's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.....
(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the
Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!
Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist! |
|
more...:)... I think..
°º MULTIPLE O's º°
2 Time POF QUEEN