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Tuner Racing
Canada
0 Posts |
 Posted - 10/05/2004 : 1:56:12 PM
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STOP THE PRESSES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~THIS JUST IN
News Flash
Corporate America is just Flabbergasted at this news. Nascar Inc. and Budeiser Beer Brand, a subsidiary of Anheiser Busch is Leaving Nascar for it's lack of better terms, we do not like the route Nascar is taking under the helm of Brian France. Mr. France in this situation got caught with his Pants down, corporately speaking. but out of every unfortunate misgiving, some good comes out of it. In this case the manufacturer of Preparation H, has picked up the BUD POLE, sponsorship and it will now be known as the BUTT POLE.
The corporation the runs the Preparation H Product, has stated it has been eyeing Nascar for a long time, and seeing how Brian France would make a great person for their product. Executives stated that we looked long and hard for a person who would represent Preparation H, like no one has in the past, and we believe we have found the perfect person in Brian France.
As a promotional aspect of this Three Billion dollar a year deal, for every case of Preparation H sold in America, Brian France will have to bathe in only a tub full of Preparation H, company Executives were leery of this until after some soul searching, they have figured that Brain France being the arse that he is should be good for at least Ten Years of promoting our product. Already some of America's largest retailers have been sold out of our product, some of these companies include, Wal-Mart who have said that the product was flying off the shelves at a rate of 30 boxes a second and was totally sold out in less than 5 minutes. Other retailers includes Price Club, Sam's Club, and Target, who, when grouped together have ordered 80 Billion cases of Product. After seeing there orders executive representing Preparation H, have said looks like America is in agreement with our choice of representative in Brain France. As overheard during a break in the meeting, one executive said, " Yes sir, This Brian France must be one heck of an Arse"
While at the meeting to finalize the deal, Brain France himself has suggested a new line for the product consisting of a Lip Balm, when asked where this idea came about Mr. France stated that he has been using Preparation H, this way since he was a kid. Preparation H, executives were just left speechless, by Mr. France's openness about his use of Preparation H, and again confirmed that Brain France was the logic choice to take Preparation H into the future.
Two other issues with respect to the above mentioned marriage today. Stock of Perpetration H, were selling at $57.93, an increase of $57.03 over the sale price of this morning before this announcement was made. Another issue which Bill France Jr., has stated is totally unrelated, Mr. Bill France Jr. has purchased a large Island in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle, when asked, Mr. France Jr., stated it will be safer to live there then here in America, where my son will now be made the BUTT OF EVERY JOKE!!!!!
Sorry but I just needed to Vent today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuner
POF PIT BOX~~~~JUST FOR SHEER ENJOYMENT |
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NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BFG Forever