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Tuner Racing
Canada
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 Posted - 06/13/2004 : 06:31:19 AM
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Subject: Secret to a Happy Marriage
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding
anniversary on the beach inMontego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic
tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful &
loving couple".
A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the
man."We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse.
We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost
fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."
We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time
causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice. "We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I shouted at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy??"
She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."
"And from that moment we have lived happily ever after".
Tuner Racing
POF PIT BOX~~~~JUST FOR SHEER ENJOYMENT |
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Thelma Louise
Usa
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Posted - 06/13/2004 : 06:39:04 AM
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Good one!!!! 
Tunes--- hows the Refrigerator?
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Tuner Racing
Canada
0 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2004 : 06:43:09 AM
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LOL Thelma still keeping my Beer at summer place COLD thanks for asking!!!!!!!
Tuner Racing
POF PIT BOX~~~~JUST FOR SHEER ENJOYMENT |
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Sooner Sis
USA
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Posted - 06/13/2004 : 08:38:00 AM
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Good one Tunes...here's another:
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.
"OH MY GOD! ..."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving ...
As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around...
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?"
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?"
"VERY WELL." Said God.
The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
... and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
 BEAVERS DO IT DAM GOOD!
 BFG RULES
NASCARSOUTH
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Tuner Racing
Canada
0 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2004 : 10:24:36 AM
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GOOD ONE Sis, LOL!!!!!!!
Tuner Racing
POF PIT BOX~~~~JUST FOR SHEER ENJOYMENT |
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Biffle ANG
USA
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Posted - 06/13/2004 : 3:16:41 PM
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| Its getting to be that Nascar is the Sunday joke , over and over again!!!!!!! |
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KyMoon
usa
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Posted - 06/13/2004 : 3:28:28 PM
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  No Doubt Sooner Sis that is definetly funny |
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Littlemacracing
USA
0 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2004 : 4:49:50 PM
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FFFFFFFFFFFF Nascar...........Brian neeeds a new brain........The worst week in NASCAR history.......
NASCARSOUTH
BFG Forever
Penske Pitbox |
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Biffle ANG
USA
0 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2004 : 5:16:02 PM
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Headline of the week in racing:OOPS
Helton speakingWell, we messed up again, But we'll fix it. We will be coming up with another new rule to address the problems that arose at Pocono.
  Hello Nascar, It wasn't broke but the fans soon will be, Dump money hungry Brian $"Just Fill My Pockets" $ France before its too late |
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Tuner Racing
Canada
0 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2004 : 5:24:45 PM
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I said this in am EARLY posting around the end of MARCH when I was VENTING, BRAIN FRANCE is going RUINING NASCAR as we all know it and I hate to say it he is doing a GREAT JOB at it........ BRING BACK BILL FRANCE and WINSTON is all I have to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!WELL wait I still have one other thing to say to the DRIVER's GROW some CAHOONA'S and SPEAK up and defend the SPORT you are Claim to LOVE!!!!!!!!
Tuner Racing
POF PIT BOX~~~~JUST FOR SHEER ENJOYMENT |
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KyMoon
usa
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Posted - 06/13/2004 : 5:58:05 PM
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To me its just not Brian France is anyone forgettin Mike Helton? He is also the numbnuts behind alot of the calls also he should be fired and put someone like Junior Johnson or one the old veterans like Ned Jarrett , folks who loved the sport for what it was and what it should be. |
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T&L Wheelock Racing
USA
0 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2004 : 7:40:31 PM
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Smart-ass Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Smart-ass Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Smart-ass Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Smart-ass Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low bridge ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Smart-ass #5 [the best for last!]
THE TEACHER Smart-ass Answer OF THE YEAR: A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
 So Cal Pitbox Rocks
BFG Rules
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Your Sunday Joke~~~~~OR IS IT~~~~LOL~~~
